1.5M ratings
277k ratings

See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
d4zed-dre4mer
royal-zach

so in psychology class we got to learn why foot fetishes are so prevelant! basically your brain stores the structural information for your body generally in the correct order (i.e. the info for your ears is stored next to the info for the head, which is stored next to the neck, etc.) BUT. The info for the feet is stored right next to the info for the genitalia and so sometimes these two sections of information can overlap and make you wanna lick some toes

puff-to-tuff

thanks, i hate it

maxinbc

image
chasers17

Normally when y’all post this kinda shit it’s blatantly incorrect, but I’m angry to say that this one is absolutely factual

Source: the-chanel-boots
d4zed-dre4mer
satanuris

shout out to fat boys though…fat cis boys. fat trans boys. fat boys that are just a little chubby. really thicc boys. fat trans boys that dont pass because of big breasts and wide hips. fat boys with big thighs and big arms and thicc waists. fat boys covered in stretch marks. fat boys with round faces and double chins.. you guys are all so perfect. just shout out to you guys. you are all so beautiful and handsome and you deserve love and validation like everybody else.

Source: stanleymarsh
d4zed-dre4mer
officialunitedstates

man: okay son we’re about to go on our family trip but airport security will only let you bring one.  so choose: fidget spinner or fidget cube

son: dang, pops! i hate the tsa

adricapproved

Cube

officialunitedstates

You have selected fidget cube.  As you and your pop head through airport security, the hefty TSA lady asks to see what you are carrying in the palm of your left hand.

You cautiously open it, revealing a small textured cube with various doohickeys on it.  She smiles and tells you, “Good choice. Have a great flight.”

GOOD ENDING

Source: officialunitedstates
d4zed-dre4mer
halleregina

Okay now that I’ve finally quit Denny’s let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is

  • The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I’ve never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go.
  • Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn’t find anything wrong with it.
  • People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week.
  • It’s open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening. 
  • Regular customers included:
    • A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject
    • A little person named Kevin who told me “sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I’m feeling whimsical”
    • An actual group of Neo-Nazis
    • An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
    • Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
    • A Scottish landscaper who told us we “couldn’t prove he doesn’t know Simon Pegg”
  • I have more these are just off the top of my head
halleregina

I can’t believe I forgot

  • two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not
  • I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said “No, I’m not a socialist”.
Source: halles-comet